ATM Card Theft...

It's not always that you lose an ATM card and if you do... It's not always that the person who stole it could figure out your pin number before you block it. Unfortunately it happened to me... And I lost a lot of money... It's not like I couldn't have prevented it, but that's always a factor... The preventability of the situation... But the fact still remains that they took it in the space of 3 minutes within the bank. I'd left it by the side (by mistake) and went to pay off a bill at the counter and when I turned around to get the wallet (which I realized I didn't have, due to my empty pocket), it was gone.

I felt violated. Having never lost a wallet before... People hacking into my account and taking all my money felt wrong. I guess I couldn't swallow the fact that ATM hacking network extended to Vellore also... I mean... These guys went down the highway to a place 15kms away to a place where the ATM didn't have a camera. The thing was planned.

Anyways my parents haven't reacted yet... I guess they didn't read the mail I sent them 2 days back... I prefer sending them bad news by mail. This time I conveniently forgot to message them to check their mail. I couldn't tell them straight on.

Shit happens. I guess no good thing lasts forever. This goes straight to the Top 5 of the list of bad things to happen to me in CMC.

Woe is me. WTF. Screw you m*therf*ckers. Rot in hell.

Losing A Stethescope...

Being a doctor is difficult when you have supposedly high standards to live up to... Those set by great and famous doctors of lore and before, those set by the great oldies who've grudgingly taught you year after year till you pass, and those set by the general patient population who swarm in like bees in the OPDs and keep buzzing around and lingering long after they've seen their doctor just to put in a word of thanks...

Now a stethescope is a status symbol of sorts in various communities... Here it's rather cool and rad to walk around with a steth around your neck. You feel good, the watchmen don't stop you and salute you as you walk past as you give a small nod in response... There actually are schools of thought whether to hang it so that the bell/diaphragm end is left or right on your chest... (I put it on my left...)

Most colleges have medicos wearing white coats so they shove their steths in their pockets but just so that both ends stick out just enough for everyone to see who they are... Common behaviour.

Of course surgeons and superconsultants don't carry steths... They're too cool to do so... They just borrow the intern's steth. :P

And so in the midst of all this... I go lose a stethescope... Which cost around 4 grand... Which wasn't mine... For which I don't have a good enough replacement nor the money to pay back... And for which I have to pay asap. It's a really sick feeling... Almost devil and the deep sea type situation.

I'm sure there are the people who are aghast with disbelief and the ones who've gone through this situation... Well it's happened... How do I pay for this mistake now?

Short Attention Spans...

It's been a long time as usual and I think it's all my fault as usual... What with my short attention span and blah blah... But frankly speaking, I'm not the only one... I swear... I can cite a lot of examples of people with short attention spans around me (half of them don't even know it or don't want to accept it...)... But I'm not talking only about attention spans, I'm talking about interest spans... People can't sit through lectures/meetings/even movies anymore... They'd rather watch a 20 min sitcom than a great classy 2 hour movie!!!

It's a sad life when people live from distraction to distraction... I've been doing it for a long time and it's really funny to list out all my obssessions over the years... Some utterly ridiculous (long distance running, trying to pay attention etc etc), others brilliant (music, singing, acting), some useful (album art, movies) and a few life-changing (studying, prize exams) if had stuck on to them longer... Wow... I've just lost track here and don't know how to continue... Need to work on this. :P

Anyways... My advice... Get a life. Get your priorities right. Getting through life hanging by your fingertips isn't healthy for anybody.

And so I end this. Abruptly. As usual...

Luv,
Lost.Found.Lost Lost Lost Lost.

A Dangerous Diary, A Burn Book...

Just started writing a diary recently and realized too early that it had to be password protected... Can't help it, letting people know what I think sometimes is a pretty dangerous thing. It's funny that I can't put some of the stuff here... But, it's different and got me thinking about the universal truth that most of us choose to be different people to different people and situations... That's kinda sad. Thinking maybe I need to make it more interesting... Like a Burn Book... :P Anyone remember that movies, Mean Girls and Cruel Intentions!!!

Anyways, it's been a half decent week and I hope maybe as time passes by, I'd be able to write a bit more... My creativity cells have been dead for quite sometime.

The System...

What do you do when you know that your college plays Big Brother with everybody's lives? Do you ignore, endure, join them or play the game? This has been a question that's been bugging me for sometime... What do you do when you realize you've been marked to lose....? What do you do when it's futile to fight and you just have to give into the system? I'm just expecting some weird robot from the future to tell me that... "You ARE the SYSTEM!"... I mean that'd make more sense that me living in such a pseudo-world where Christ is the gold standard and there is no tolerance involved ever? It's tough living like this... It's tough being told what to do to be accepted by the system... It's tough when admins with stone clad hearts and minds want to decide how we live our lives, so that they can live their lives in peace... I hate Big Brother and I really don't like the people condoning it. Our lives are not for you to play games with or have a conversation about over your evening tea or midmorning snack break.

Californication...

Sometimes I wish my life was something out of an American TV series... Lots of make-outs, sex with no strings attached (casual sex???), lots of cigarettes and alcohol (and maybe drugs?), and generally be a regular a**hole and still have the ladies agreeing to get into bed because of my "charm"... Have a job like writing a blog or a book once in 2 years and getting paid and reaping the royalties... To have a body without a paunch even when I'm past my 40s-50s... To still love the mother of my child even though we aren't married and she's seeing someone else... To find out that I can't write without my love and muse being with me... To go out and wake up midafternoon in some woman's house who's left a note telling me to "let myself out and thanks for the great sex"? To have this great daughter who isn't damaged even after her parents are separated, but actually takes it into stride... To finally convince the woman I love to chuck the guy she married an hour ago and come live with me in spite of all my flaws... Currently, that's my nirvana today... No... It's just Californication... Watch it!!!

We All Have Voids To Fill...

Apart from the apparent sexual connotation, it's the truth... To avoid generalization, I shall use the word "most" here... Anyways...

Most of us are unfortunately not complete... We've got huge holes in us, emotionally, mentally, (?physically?), spiritually, etc etc... Most journeys seeking the truth start off with the realization that he/she's got a hole to fill to feel complete... What was that song sung so heart-wrenching by my favourite almost 50 year old rocker, Bono? Yeah... I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For... And it's the truth... While some of us are pretty happy with what we have, most of us are still looking, searching, or asking...

It's not a bad thing of course... This is how you make your self human... The constant need to satisfy self... To make self happier by reaching that next level... That next promotion, that next book, that next movie, that next base to reach, that next kiss, that next milestone, that next kilometer, that next size closer to 0, that next kg dropped, that next episode or DVDrip to download... Sometimes even if you don't realize it, you're living out the story of the carrot and the racehorse... Where the carrot's tied so that it's just always just out of the reach of the horse's mouth, and the poor thing keeps running to just reach it... (Same thing like the dog running after it's tail forever... I wonder why it does that... Maybe it's just itching where the poor thing can't reach?)

The irony of the matter is when we choose to ignore all else except our favourite indulgence, void-filling... When void-filling becomes a hiding mechanism or selfishness, it loses it's purpose... You're now regressing instead of progressing... It's up to us to decide when enough is enough, when to stop being pawns governed by the system and when to say no. Filling your void is a good thing... But it's a bad thing when you've started ignoring all else and becoming selfish... 'Coz there are people always around... People who depend on you, People who you need to meet, People whose life you need to make a difference in... And you can't keep ignoring them. You can't ignore other important things you've go to do in life other than your current void-filling exercise. It ain't worth it. Sharing yourself and your time matters more than being selfish.

When you can't reach the carrot, stop. Think if it's worth the effort. If it is, start running again, otherwise, walk away. The 64 year old rocker/prophet Mick Jagger sang... You Can't Always Get What You Want... It's the truth... There are other things that matter and are more important. Think about it. Don't ruin your life by straying from the path to success and happiness. It's always long term happiness that really matters... Though living in the present doesn't sound like a bad idea at all, saving up a bit for a rainy day is also a good insurance policy for life.

Luv,
Nelson

Grab Your Life's Remote...

Are you living the life you wanted to? Or living the life your parents decided for you? Or living a life that you have no control over? Well... It sucks if you aren't living your life the way you want it... So if you've got someone else handling your remote control, grab it and press your own buttons... But please have a Plan B to fall back on... Especially when it comes to girls... They keep changing their minds at times and you, being men, usually have no clue (genetically disadvantaged that way, damn you, Y Chromosome!!!)

The Grass Is Always Greener On The Other Side...

It's been a long time since I've posted anything on the blog... I guess being internet-savvy and accessible still doesn't mean that you'll find the time or the interest to keep your once almost successful blog alive...

I've just been busy I guess... Doing nothing of importance of course... Anyways... "Important" being the key word there... I mean... Downloading and watching stuff and writing off DVDs is important to me... It ain't gonna save lives though... Is it?

Everybody's a Maniac-Depressive... That's a new phrase I came to realize... Might not be new, but I did not pick it off the net. And it's the truth... We're all part of the crest or trough wave of the Maniac-Depressive world and it's ok to be normal too, so be pessimistic and sceptical coz you can go either up or down ANYTIME! (Have been in Maniac Phase for the past one week, and it feels gooooooooooood...)

Had this interesting conversation with a friend who suggested that I write down the stuff I blabber out sometime... Apparently, it'd make a good book...! Well, I thought writing a book would be a pain, and why do that when I've been having this blog for quite some time now! So with my sincerest thanks to that really good friend, I shall put out my spewings of mostly obnoxious stuff with some ghost writer hopefully deciding to steal my ideas and write a self help book for Dr. Phil to claim as his!

And due to the sudden epidemic of acute short span attention syndrome, I shall cut this short and hopefully will continue later... (Maybe I should get this pen and writing pad...)

Luv,
Me

P.S. Why the grass is greener title? I'll talk about it later... :) I Will!

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