Queercents

I’ll probably never forget the day I found out.  It was around the middle of October – our daughter’s birthday weekend – and we had gone camping. Since we were expecting quite a few well-wishers calling for our daughter, I’d forwarded our home telephone number to my cell phone.

At one point during the weekend, it rang, and a heavily-accented woman asked for my wife.

“Who is calling, please?” I asked.

The caller was somewhat evasive, again asking for, and mispronouncing, my wife’s name.

“She’s my wife,” I answered, “How can I help you?”

The woman was clearly surprised by my female-sounding voice laying claim to another woman as wife.  She hemmed and hawed, but wouldn’t give me any information.  At that moment, I realized it was a collection call.  I passed the phone to my wife, who answered, but the campground had poor cell coverage.  The call dropped. Read the rest of this entry »

For two years the political election campaign dragged on - often through slug mud - as the real estate market simultaneously continued its record-breaking fall. But with the pivotal elections behind us the nation’s housing and mortgage situation may be primed for improvement.

One plan that Obama talked about during his campaign was a proposal to place a moratorium on foreclosures. While this may only offer temporary relief, it is certainly a welcome reprieve to those homeowners who face imminent loss of their homes, and it will also help to shore up home prices across the board. The foreclosure freeze is not a new idea, and a 90-day freeze on foreclosures was recently called for by California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger - a Republican - who insists that lenders who participate in the freeze will be rewarded and that homeowners will see direct benefits.

But perhaps a more sustainable approach - and one that helps both homeowners and lenders - is to rework the fundamental terms and rates of mortgages through various loan modification strategies. Under the new White House administration there will likely be some powerful moves in this direction. Read the rest of this entry »

New Series Alert: We recently launched two new series at Queercents: Rachel Gollay’s Grad School Finances and Michael Moy’s Luxe Life (the ups and downs of being a gay house husband). This week, Alex Taylor joins the fold. Alex will be writing about Financial Infidelity and how a relationship can best recover from it. This experience comes firsthand:

My most recent financial challenge is that my wife committed an act of “financial infidelity.” Although the amount of money was relatively small, the sneaking and the lies have been a challenge to our relationship.

Stop back later today for the first post! As an aside, Alex self-identifies as queer with FTM leanings and has been partnered for ten years with a post-transition MTF woman. Their widely-divergent money management styles have led Alex to a unique understanding of the financial issues faced by LGBT families. In writing for Queercents, Alex hopes to share this understanding and help others navigate the minefield of money management in their relationships. For additional background, click here. Please welcome Alex to Queercents.

Jay always kids me about how I bounced back and forth above and below my credit limit until my mid-thirties, teetering on the edge of he terms “certain financial collapse.” Yes, I lived beyond my means. But it was my (loveable) little quirk, and its familiarity was comforting (to me). Jay, on the other hand, is different. He is fiscally responsible and cautious. He believes in living below one’s means. He gets finance industry bonuses. He saves them. He’s so weird.

Over time, and with changing circumstances, we both changed. We changed each other. He transitioned from Gap to Gabbana: I stopped overspending (sort of). He started appreciating things, and I started understanding the value of money. His money and my money became our money (sort of). We were able to afford more than just the necessities. We could now buy luxuries. However, neither Jay nor I had grown up what I’d call “comfortable.” Maybe it’s different for those who did. For us, growing into “comfortable” came with a range of discomforts. Here’s what I’ve identified:

The Not-My-Money Dilemma
This surfaced when buying non-essential items for myself. It’s one thing to buy household necessities; it’s another to splurge on oneself with one’s own money. It’s an entirely different matter the first few times you spend income that you, yourself, haven’t earned. On yourself. I found myself asking whether I could truly justify the purchase. After I had—usually by amoritizing the purchase price over several wearings—I snuck the new purchase into the closet (yes, I’m talking clothes) and let it “age” until it seemed as if it had always been there. Read the rest of this entry »

Most people don’t buy everything new. Some buy used cars, get hand-me-downs, or recycle furniture from their parents. Garage sales are no different, you are just acquiring items in a new way and you should look at it as such. A way to save money, save landfills and find something you enjoy, last longer. Along the way though there are a few myths that have popped up that just don’t seem to go away.

1. Everything at a garage sale is used - Well, yeah. So has everything in your home, a hotel, at the gym and so on. Hardware items simply need to be washed well. Clothing can be cleaned by your own trusty washer and furniture can be steamed cleaned with a good steam vac and stain remover. Sometimes you can benefit from someone who overbuys and will be able to pick up items with the tags still on them or still in the box, but keep in mind, these are usually priced higher to reflect their newness.

2. Stuff is dirty - If dirt freaks you out, bring rubber gloves, baby wipes or a wet cloth and towel. When you do buy it, wash it first before setting it anywhere. Most sellers are kind enough to brush off the top layer of dust as they want to get rid of the item as quick as possible. Read the rest of this entry »

“Come fly the Friendly Skies.” – United Airlines commercial, circa 1987

Diddy isn’t the only celebrity flying commercial these days. In the past 2 months, I’ve seen Eva Mendes, Ron Howard, Paula Abdul and Carson Kressley – either inflight or at the airport.

I think Brian Grazer was traveling with Ron Howard, but I couldn’t tell for sure. It’s a big no-no to gawk in the Admirals Club VIP lounge; but apparently he was enjoying the complimentary salad bar while bypassing me and that lovely platter of warm goat cheese crostini.

Jeanine was with me on that trip. We were returning from vacation (and my year-end mileage run) and I remember thinking, wow; times must be tough. While some might argue that Ron Howard isn’t exactly A-List, he is at least a thousand times richer than Carson Kressley (sorry, Carson!) and yet, here he was flying with the masses out of JFK. It reminds me of the time that Glenn Close had a middle seat on JetBlue!

Are all these celebs feeling the economic crunch just like the rest of us? The LA Times thinks so: Read the rest of this entry »

On Tuesday, we got our first flurries of snow in Maine. Admittedly, I’m a little disappointed that the sun is almost completely gone by four p.m, but beautiful flurries of snow on a cold crisp afternoon is still a beautiful sight.

• When I saw this headline in the Boston Globe, it certainly did wonders to mitigate the disappointment over Prop 8 in California. (Read it in The Boston Globe)
• Not only that, but 43 legislators in California support overturning Proposition 8. (Read it at The Advocate)
• I love crafts. Any crafts all the time. So J.D.’s list of 34 DIY gift ideas is something I’m looking forward to immensely. If you’re stuck for gift ideas, this is a great place to start. (Read it at Get Rich Slowly)
• We’ve already written about avoiding NSF fees and getting them refunded. Consumerist is now contributing on how to avoid record high bank fees. (Read it at Consumerist)
• I love the concept of devoting a day to not spending a dollar. It seems like almost everywhere you turn there’s something being sold or someone convincing you that all you really need to be happy is to buy their product. A “No Spending Day” seems a great little way to counter that mentality. (Read it at I Will Teach You to Be Rich)

Queercents Flashback: Traveling in an environmentally friendly way is often hard to do because it almost always inherently requires above average consumption of fuel. And then there are the added expenses of food and lodging. Nina proposes a two in one solution to traveling greener and reducing expenses.

How do you know if the clothes you buy are worth what you spend on them?  Are you being frugal?  Are you saving money?  Are you paying a little extra for quality and getting your money’s worth?  Are you making a smart choice with your money or simply rationalizing your tastes?  It can be hard to know sometimes.

That’s why I truly loved the “Cost per Wear” matrix that I came across while I was writing a recent review of “The Frugal Duchess” by Sharon Harvey Rosenberg over at BlogHer. Nina recently reviewed the book as well and you can catch her thoughts in the Queercents review.

What the “Cost per Wear” matrix is, according to The Frugal Duchess on page 40 is a way to calculate the true value of your clothes.  This frugal strategy was advocated in the business book “How to Say It For Women” by Phyllis Mindell.  Here’s how the matrix looks:

Garment             Clearance Price            # of Wears              Cost per Wear

Silk Shirt                       $15.00                                30                            $.50

Biking Pants                 $50.00                               200                           $.25

Tight Jeans                   $70.00                                5                              $14

So you can see, it is not so much about the cost of an item, but the combination of cost and wear you get from it that determines whether it is a good deal or not.  Meaning, whether you’re getting your money’s worth or not.  Read the rest of this entry »

Over the last 25 years, Kenneth Cole and his advertisements have been topical and relevant to our ever-changing world. His recent campaign continues to raise social awareness and the exquisite Nina Poon is front and center when it comes to this non-uniform thinking. As a transgender model, makeup artist and illustrator, she has a few things to say about money and a-wear-ness!

1. “We all walk in different shoes” is the current tagline of Kenneth Cole. What did your shoes cost?
Fortunately I never paid a personal price for walking in my shoes. The best things have happened to me because of being who I am. I could make a list but I’ll save that for next time!

2. What did growing up as the son of Chinese immigrants teach you about money?
SAVE, SAVE & SAVE!!!

3. What was your very first job?
Oh lord, it was at Universal Studios in Orlando working at a concessions stand selling hot dogs and lemonade. I was paid something like $5 or $6 an hour. Read the rest of this entry »

If I had fifty bucks for every coffee date I went on, I’d be rich. Well, my wishes have been answered by this “revolutionary” new dating site. This one screens serious daters by only allowing them contact if they pay you a minimum fee to date you.

I like the idea of merging the seriousness factor (the biggest appeal of dating sites) with an ad hoc purchase plan. That way you know someone is serious but you don’t pay a monthly fee for a service you don’t use. But giving the money to the site’s users and having it start at fifty bucks seems like they want to offer more than coffee if you get my drift.

It gets dodgier. You have to make an account to search and in my experience that never ends well. Once you sign up, you’re presented with a standard pay-to-play site that’s feature restricted to anyone who isn’t a gold member. Wait–I thought I was getting paid for this. Oh and then there’s that: everyone on the site has to set a price before they can even look at other members. If we’re all for sale, who pays whom? Oooh that sounded deep. Read the rest of this entry »