Perspectives

Isn't it amazing how nothing means anything outside the meaning we give it?

I love finding pennies when I walk.

Years ago, I walked regularly along a route that, for whatever reason, had tons of pennies. I would play manifestation games, seeing them as a gift of abundance. Sometimes, I imagined that they were signs I was on a "right path" of thinking if I was pondering. Sometimes they were a reminder that all was well. Every so often, I would come upon a pile of coins in the street, couple of dollars worth. These were big signs to me and would make my day. I'd feel all glowy inside.

One day, I as I walked up to my driveway, I noticed what looked like about a hundred pennies strewn all over. I got really excited, tears came to my eyes at this huge gift from the universe...and right at my front door!!! I imagined them as a gift from a friend who knew about my delight and how I saw them as treasures. I skittered here and there, picking them up, giggling a thank you every time I put one in my pocket. I felt so Blessed!!!

A short while ago, I was watching "Weeds" ( a show on cable TV..now in DVD...very entertaining and recommended).

One day, the main character, played by Mary Louise Parker, walked up to her car. Around it were hundreds of pennies.

The guy she was with called it "getting pennied." It was an active, violent warning to her and she was furious about this act of "vandalism."

I laughed. It NEVER occurred to me in all these years that my pennies had ever been anything but an act of love and signs of blessings. I would think of it from time to time and it always made me smile.

Could it be that someone was so angry with me that I was being intentionally singled out for an act of hate?

Were all those pennies in my driveway a random act of violence?

Or where they Pennies From Heavean...a synchronistic reminder of the Abundance Of The Universe and how connected to it I was?

I'm stickin' with the last one.

Art: For Love Or Money by Ginny Guara

Aha Moment #428.7

I'm reading "The Diving Matrix" by Gregg Braden. I read "The Isaiah Effect" yearsyears ago. Man, his stuff excites me!! It's all about the interface of Spirituality and Physics.

As I was reading, I flashed on how science continues to "prove" the Ancient Teachings of every branch of mysticism.

I flashed on how mainstream religion pits itself against science, like they are at war. I then thought of who were the loudest voices of that, and I flashed on how it's the far right that does so.

And then I got that the energy of it comes from fear...just as mainstam religion rejects mysticism and all traditions/spiritual paths it labels as "other" from fear.

And since mysticism is what physics is slowly proving, no bloody wonder the right rejects science.

It isn't that science is anti-spirituality...no way...it's that science puts into question their flavor of seperatist exclusionist religion.

I understand the fear of being confronted with a paradigm shift. What will happen to their worldview if they are "wrong?"...what will the world look like if there is no god "in charge" with a preordained plan?

No wonder they're afraid and want to silence.

Art from here

Question Of The Week

How do I reconcile

1) Abraham's teachings that struggle can only lead to more struggle...no joy...and if things don't flow, they aren't "meant to be"

with

2)The concept of the hero's journey of being tested and struggling through the challenges to an ultimate joy/victory...Staying The Course, believing and keeping on no matter what it looks like on the oustide....

???????

Pondering....

Image taken from here.

Security

For many years people told me that while they longed to work for themselves, they couldn't because they needed the security of a job.

For many years, the people surrounding me saved, saved, saved to ensure security in their older years.

I wondered how the employed-by-others felt secure when their jobs were at the whim of another. I pondered how it is that the saver can feel secure when markets can disintegrate and values are not absolute. I wondered if perhaps it was because they had never lost it all so couldn't believe it could happen to them. I kept wondering about myself because I saw it as ephemeral, transitory, unstable, unsure...not secure in any way. Rather all this was only an illusion to feel safe.

I do understand the need to feel safe.

The more I know about the world economy I see, first hand (in my astonishment at what few know about it), that it's all a house of cards built upon a pile of ashes and dust, looping back upon itself, built only upon thought. But I think that very cool, cuz thought can change.

In these days of economic upheaval, I keep wondering if we are co-creating to learn (at a very acute and personal level) that our security does not lie where we think it does.

A few years ago, when I had lots more financial security, I went into a panic for a short period. I let go of the panic when I had a deep knowing/flash of trust and realization that all would be well and not to worry. I knew that either I would be dead, the economy as we knew it would be no more or I would be taken care of (in whatever form or job opportunity that meant).

I now have less than I've had in years. Haha...just about nothing...certainly from the perspective of my American culture. I am basically "homeless" (not really...but I live between two daughters' houses). At this point, I have no income that I can know of for another couple of weeks. I pretty much live out of two suitcases and a couple of boxes.

And yet for some reason, all I can think about is how abundantly Blessed I am.

Wonder what that's all about

Art: Abund-Dance from here

ALICE And The Rabbit Hole

Tomorrow ALICE is being tested! I'm so excited...heard about it some time back when I read articles about concern that it will open worm holes. I'm thinking rabbit holes sound more warm and fuzzy, if not nearly as interesting.

What is ALICE? A Large Ion Collider Experiment.

I was led to this:



What's a Hadron? Find out here.
A little more about it in article format is here.
What Steven Hawking has to say about it.

And on another note...on my Yahoo homepage is an article on scientists creating a new form of life.

I've always been puzzled when people say that science is the antithesis of spirituality. I think it the same thing, just another Path. Both explain the universe. It's just that science is taking longer to do so :) and needs empirical evidence so the Logical Mind will accept what the Mystic Mind has always known. But don't get me wrong- I love science. I love that it is supporting, rather than negating, what Mystics have said for centuries.

Spirituality says "In the Beginning was the Word" .....and the Word was the Big Bang...I mean...isn't a Bang a sound?

Spirituality says our Spirits live on after we die.....and didn't Einstein or someone prove something about how energy is never lost, it just changes form?

Spirituality says there is the Dark and the Light. Science says matter and antimatter, or dark holes and our known universe.

I mean...am I the only person who sees this stuff?

Note to Self...get subscription to Scientific American. Seems to be lots going on....there's change in the air. Cool. Wonder what's up.

My Mom

Mom has been popping in lots lately.

No...not over for a chat and tea. In my brain.

Next year it will be 20 years since she died.

She was 55.

I am 52.

At age 52, she was just coming out of a dismal period with my father who had been having multiple heart attacks over a period of ten years. He was unhappy, obese, smoked like a fiend, never exercised, drank way too much, sat his butt in front of a TV when not working at at highly stressful job.

Because he was not taking care of himself, my Mom was pissed that whole time. I can't remember a conversation where she didn't complain about him.

But at age 52, they had turned a corner. They were starting to play again...taking trips together. It almost sounded like they were falling in love again, rather than merely staying married out of a sense of duty and familiarity even though they were miserable.

In February the year she was 53, my dad had his last heart attack and died on the kitchen floor.

She died from cancer two and a half years later.

I pierced my ears. I pierced my nose. I left a marriage that had died for me.

I thought, wow...if there's anything to this genetics thingie, between the two of my parents, I have a little over 20 years to go. I vowed to fully live. I think I've accomplished that.

And now it's been 20 years.

And how does that make me feel?

Blessed.

Appreciative.

At peace.

The flowers on my morning walk make me happy.

Today while I held my grandson, bouncing him on the rebounder, the world stopped. He shimmered. I gasped in awe at the wonder of his pudgy fingers and Life.

I want to dance. And so I do.

I want to sing. Yup, that, too.

I want to look into people's eyes and feel their presence. And it's lovely.

I want to play and smile and laugh and embrace All of It.

I'm simply happy.

Art: Sacred Place by Ed P. Nice stuff.

More On Tantra And The Extreme Dark

I've been pondering controversial topics lately and I've been having a difficult time figuring out how to write about them.

One pondering got triggered during a visit to an old Tantra friend a few months ago.

First- some background on Esoteric Tantra:

Dissolution of the disconnected ego to unite with The All is one of the main goals of Tantra. The Tantrikas of old participated in ceremonies that contained forbidden elements in them: eating meat, drinking alcohol, sex, etc...some of them were necrophiliacs. Many of the greatest Teachers lived in cremation grounds. They abandoned families, and all "good" society to let go of the ego's attachment to attachment.

Tantrikas past and present challenge themselves to conquer their fears. What greater fear do we have than being an outcast, one of "the damned?" We are constantly molded and shaped to conform, some societies more than others. Tantrikas engage in taboo behavior to challenge our vision of the sacred and our place in it.

I believe Tantra to be the first Spiritual Path on this Earth. I say "believe" because I don't know it as a fact (and I have not, to date, read any book that would pass academic muster to prove my belief). I believe that those first humans were closer to Spirit than we, by virtue of the lack of technology and their dependence on the Earth and their intuition. I believe these people took this first Path and traveled around the world, resulting in this basic Path's variations. It became Wicca in Europe, Bonn in China and Tibet, Native American paths have the same symbols- spirals, hand prints, eye, bird, egg, etc.

Most of the Earth based traditions do not have a concept of the universe as "good" and "evil." Many of the traditions carry that into their code- that there really is no good and bad, just intent and isness. I know of Buddhists who were the most deadly assasins because they believed that when they killed without emotion, they incurred no karmic debt.

_______________________________

I don't think I've met anyone who is as intent on her Spirit Path as my friend...not even me. Her whole life is devoted to spiritual travel to India's ashrams, meditation, self awareness...it's how she makes her living. She writes, talks, breathes Tantra constantly.

I hadn't seen her in a few years. One of the first things out of her mouth was telling me that what she thinks most about as the next step upon her path is to kill someone with her bare hands. Someone has given her permission to do it. She said she had been getting in touch with this primal thing about killing and being the agent for another's transition into spirit. She talked about what an incredibly sexy thing it was.

Do I need to say that this woman is the ultimate button pusher...unflinchingly honest about all of her deepest darkest places as well as her light? (Which, I might add, shines very brightly. All who come in contact with her are mezmerized by her giggly, sparkly, loving life force).

I admit to thinking she was kidding around at first. I admit to feeling a bit discombobulated when I figured out she was serious. All sorts of feelings came up....man that woman is a force!

I told her I would come visit her in jail.

She told me she appreciated that I still liked her even after she had told me she wanted to kill someone.

The weird thing is, after my surprise, I understood her when she got all excited and kind of pantomimed choking someone to death, talking about it being the ultimate act of love. It is...think about it...if we think that being spirit is so wonderful, what a gift it is to assist someone in that journey!

Then I flashed on the dangers of this line of thought because of its capacity for being misinterpreted and used as a tool for unconscious behavior. That in the hands of the unconscious, it could justify lots that would certainly upset me to hear about.

What an odd line. What an odd topic to consider.

But it stays with me.

Why?

Well...when I think of killing someone I go numb. I don't think I could do it, even in self defense. I don't know if I could do it even to protect my children, but if I was to do it, that's the only scenario I can envision. I have this past life memory and it freaked me completely until I integrated it.

Then a weird thing flashed in the other day. It had been nice out so we had the doors open. We weren't paying attention and a species of small flies (bigger than fruit flies, smaller than the usual kind) took over our kitchen. There were tons of the little suckers flying all over the place. I started a campaign to get rid

I was smooshing and thwacking them, spilling their little guts all over the place. It felt really good killing them. Truth is, the act of taking their little annoying lives was exhilarating when I allowed myself to feel it. I flashed on my friend and I wondered...is this the same thing?

Life is life. We humans have conveniently appointed ourselves to be the arbiters of the hierarchy of the value of life here on the planet. While I'm not ready to kill a human walking around (although I have had an abortion so have killed a human), I am more than comfortable continuing my fly genocide (flyocide?).

At the same time, intellectually I don't buy that one form of life is any more important than the other and see my hypocrisy.

Then I flashed on actors, specifically Angelina Jolie. I thought about acting and how to be a truly great actor, you embody what it is what you are doing. You live/be/do this act or archetype. And I thought...wow...she plays all these assasins. Does she (and other great actors like her) get to feel that feeling of exhilaration of killing in a "safe" way? Does this ability to acceptably embody that taboo enhance their psychic integration?

My knowing is that it's all sacred. All of it means all of it- the light, the dark...all of it. Mystic logic does not allow for arbitrary exclusions of "all" just because we humans feel discomfort and judgment around a particular topic. Doesn't it then follow that even killing is sacred and "not evil" if it's all simply a part of the Dance of Life? And that when we acknowledge those feeling impulses instead of demonizing them we become more whole? I wonder how many would be willing to allow themselves to feel this ultimate taboo as spiritual practice?

Yup...I wasn't lying when I said I've been pondering controversial topics.

Art:

Kali by Mary MacGregor-Reid

Gaia Sacrifice from here

Wheel of Life from here