LOST - on the Red Carpet at The Emmy's

Michael Emerson and Carrie Preston on the Red Carpet - Emmys 2008

Click above to watch the video

Church Sign In Toronto

*Thanks, Vil

This is Cool! North Pole.com

This is remarkable. If you have no particular interest, please pass it on to the bakers in your life.

Just click on the name of the CANDY and bam the recipe appears - The webpage below contains the direct links to NorthPole.com and the recipes.

Click here for the page. Don't forget to bookmark it!

*Thanks, Daryn!

Filmdom's favourite rodent turns 80

The StarPhoenix

In 1928, aviator Amelia Earhart became the first woman to fly accross the Atlantic, an iron lung was used for the first time, the only Academy Award was given for Best Title Writing and Gordie Howe was born.

As well, a small rodent -- "a little fellow trying to do the best he could," according to creator Walt Disney. -- made his debut in American Theatres.

It is Mickey Mouse's 80th birthday today! "Yay! Mickey!!

Here is some trivia:

1. Which of the following was not a Mouseketeer?
A. Christina Aguilera
B. Annette Funicello
C. Ryan Gosling
D. Britney Spears
E. Justin Timberlake

2. How many people are credited for providing the voice of Mickey Mouse in the past 80 years?
A. 1
B. 3
C. 5
D. 8
E. 15

3. Mickey Mouse's first appearance was in Plane Crazy on May 15, 1928. The Walt Disney Company considers today Mickey's birthday, commemorating the release of what cartoon?
A. The Barn Dance
B. The Opry House
C. The Gallopin' Gaucho
D. Mickey's Follies
E. Steamboat Willie

4. Walt Disney created Mickey Mouse to replace which animated character?
A. Felix the Cat
B. Dog the Bounty Hunter
C. Minnie the Moocher
D. Oswald the Lucky Rabbit

5. To whom did Walt Disney give credit for the inspiration for Mickey's personality?
A. Charlie Chaplin
B. Woodrow Wilson
C. Shoeless Joe Jackson
D. Hoagy Carmichael
E. Stan Laurel

6. What were Mickey's first spoken words?
A. "Put her down!"
B. "Jeepers!"
C. "Eeek! A cat!"
D. "You know what they say about big hands, Minnie!"
E. "Hot dogs!"

7. On March 28, 1929, what happened to Mickey for the first time?
A. He met Minnie
B. He asked Minnie out
C. He kissed Minnie
D. He danced with Minnie
E. He wore gloves

8. The first piece of Mickey Mouse merchandise appeared in 1929. It was:
A. A lunchbox
B. A beanie cap with large ears
C. A school writing tablet
D. Suspenders
E. A video game

9. In 1932, Walt Disney received a special Academy Award for creating Mickey Mouse. How many Oscars has Mickey won?
A. 0
B. 1
C. 2
D. 3
E. 5

10. Who said: "Brake! Brake! Brake now, you Mickey Mouse piece of s--!"
A. Charles Lindbergh
B. Neil Armstrong
C. Sylvester Stallone
D. Henry Ford
E. Minnie Mouse

11. Match the event with the year:
1. The first Mickey Mouse watch is sold
2. Mickey gets his own entry in Encyclopedia Britannica
3. Minnie first turns down Mickey in favour of Peg Leg Pete
4. Mickey's eyes get pupils
5. Mickey leads Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade in New York

a. 1929
b. 1933
c. 1934
d. 1935
e. 1940

12. Who once famously put a black bra on top of his head to imitate Mickey, and said "I'm the mascot of an evil corporation."
A. Walt Disney
B. Scrooge McDuck
C. John Belushi
D. Dan Aykroyd
E. Bart Simpson

13. True or False: In a 2007 children's television show titled Tomorrow's Pioneers, the Hamas used a Mickey Mouse clone named Farfour to encourage children to use AK-47 assault rifles and grenades, telling them that "We will return the Islamic community to its former greatness, and liberate Jerusalem, God willing, liberate Iraq, God willing, and liberate all the countries of the Muslims invaded by the murderers." Following intervention by the Palestinian government, the character was beaten to death by an Israeli and replaced by Nahoul, his bumblebee cousin.

14. Another first: 30 years ago today, Mickey became the first cartoon character to:
A. Receive a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame
B. Win an Emmy Award
C. Sing during the Super Bowl halftime show
D. Be charged for impaired driving
E. Appear in a porn film

15. Has Disney's Mickey Mouse ever appeared in the same film as Warner Brothers' Bugs Bunny?

16. Who said:
"Well, it's time they got their act together. They're ruining the whole league. They had better stop running a Mickey Mouse organization and put somebody on the ice."
A. Former Disney CEO Michael Eisner
B. Hockey Night in Canada analyst Don Cherry
C. Emilio Estevez, in the movie The Mighty Ducks
D. Bugs Bunny
E. Wayne Gretzky

© The StarPhoenix (Saskatoon) 2008

Below are the answers.

1. None. All five were Mouseketeers.

2. B. Three. Walt Disney voiced Mickey from 1928-47, when Jim MacDonald took over. In 1977, Wayne Allwine, the current voice of Mickey, took over from MacDonald.

3. E. Steamboat Willie. Plane Crazy and The Gallopin' Gaucho preceded Steamboat Willie, which was the first Mickey film with sound.

4. D. Oswald the Lucky Rabbit.

5. A. Charlie Chaplin. Said Disney: "I think we are rather indebted to Charlie Chaplin for the idea. We wanted something appealing, and we thought of a tiny bit of a mouse that would have something of the wistfulness of Chaplin -- a little fellow trying to do the best he could."

6. E. "Hot dogs!" In 1929's The Karnival Kid, Mickey sells hot dogs.

7. E. Mickey first wore gloves in The Opry House.

8. C.

9. B. Mickey won his only Oscar for 1941's Lend A Paw, which starred not Mickey, but Pluto.

10. C. In the movie Demolition Man, Stallone shouts those words to his police car.

11. 1b; 2c; 3a; 4e; 5d

12. E. Bart Simpson in The Simpsons Movie.

13. True.

14. A.

15. Yes, they appeared together in 1988's Who Framed Roger Rabbit.

16. E. Gretzky said it in 1984 after his Edmonton Oilers defeated the New Jersey Devils 13-4.

© The StarPhoenix (Saskatoon) 2008

Visit Mickey Mouse on Wikipedia!

The Pharmacist Joke

MONEY IS NO OBJECT !
A Scottish private walks into the pharmacy near his bases, pulls a beat-up, mutilated condom out of his pocket, and asks the pharmacist how much it would cost to repair the condom. The pharmacist replied that including replacing the band and spot welding the holes, it would cost two dollars, but that for three dollars, he could sell the private a new one. The private said, "Aye, that is a weighty decision, I shall be back in two hours with an answer." Two hours later, the Scotsman returns and says: "The regiment has voted to replace."


L'ARGENT N'EST PAS UN PROBLÈME !
Un soldat écossais se présente à la pharmacie près de sa base militaire, retire de sa poche de pantalon un vieux condom usé et tout troué et demande au pharmacien combien il en coûterait pour le réparer. Le pharmacien lui répond qu'incluant le remplacement de la bague et la réparation des trous il en coûterait deux dollars, mais que pour trois dollars il pourrait lui en vendre un tout neuf. ''Décision difficile'' de répondre le soldat, ''je vous reviens dans une heure avec ma réponse''. Une heure plus tard le militaire revient et dit au pharmacien: ''Le régiment a voté pour un neuf.''

Quotes of the day

The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself.
-- Nietzsche


"'There's no way to rule innocent men. The only power any government has is the ower to crack down on criminals. When there aren't enough criminals, one MAKES them. One declares so many things to be a crime that it becomes impossible for men to live without breaking laws. ... Create a nation of law-breakers, and then you cash in on the guilt.'"
-- Ayn Rand "Atlas Shrugged"

*Thanks, Bran

Gay man murdered sitting in car

(Syracuse, New York) A 20-year-old man is charged with the unprovoked murder of a Syracuse man in what police say was a hate crime.

Moses Cannon, 20, was sitting in a car with his brother Mark, 18, about to enter a party they had been invited to by an acquaintance.

Before they could get out of the vehicle, guests at the party came outside the house and began yelling homophobic epithets at them.

Syracuse Police Chief Gary Miguel said that one of the guests, Dwight DeLee, went into the residence and returned with a 22-caliber rifle.

Miguel said DeLee then put the rifle to the driver’s side window of that vehicle and fired one round.

“And that one round strikes Mark Cannon in the arm, and continues on and strikes Moses Cannon in the chest area,” Miguel told local cable news station News 10.

According to Miguel, DeLee fired at the brothers because Moses Cannon was gay.

Moses Cannon, stepped out of the party when the Cannons arrived and shot Moses, who identified as female and was known as to friends and family as 'Teish', point-blank with a 22-caliber rifle. Both Cannon siblings are gay Mark was grazed by the bullet and Teish was killed.

“Our suspect took a rifle and shot and killed this person, wounding also his brother, for the sole reason that he didn’t care for the sexual preference of our victim. And isn’t that sad?” Miguel told the station.

Despite being shot, Mark Cannon was able to drive the car to the family’s home as his brother lay bleeding heavily in the front passenger seat.

Moses Cannon died a short while later.

DeLee was arrested on Sunday and charged with second-degree murder. At his arraignment on Monday, he pleaded not guilty. The district attorney’s office said it may add a hate crime charge prior to trial.

“I’m hurt. Angry, upset. Am I mad at the kid? Yes. Mostly, I’m upset with society. How do we let our kids get this angry this young? This was hatred,” Albert Cannon, Moses Cannon’s father told News 10.

*with files from 365Gay News Center Staffand Towler Road

A Practical Visitor's Guide to Saskatoon

Originally Posted by Sarah fat Paulie's Travel Blog.

(original source: Anonymous)

1. First you must learn to pronounce the city's name. It is Sask-A-tune, not "S'toon", and it DOES NOT matter how people who are not from here pronounce it.

2. Saskatoon has its own version of traffic rules. Never forget that downtown Saskatoon is composed in large part of three or four block streets. The only way to get out of the center of town is to turn around and start over when you reach the river.

3. All directions start with, "Go down Circle Drive ."

4. Circle Drive has no beginning and no end, although it does not actually circle the entire city, either.

5. Exit and entry ramps on Circle Drive are just the recommended way of entering and exiting Feel free to exit at any grassy point you wish.

6. The 8:00 a.m. rush hour is from 6:30 to 9:30 a.m. The 5:00 PM rush hour is from 3:30 to 6:30 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.

7. If you actually stop at a yellow light, this is a dead giveaway that you are a tourist.

8. Idylwyld can only be pronounced by a native Saskatonian , so do not attempt the phonetic pronunciation. People will tilt their heads to the right and stare at you. (The way The Wizard remembers how to spell it: "I Do Your Laundry While You Lie Down.")

9. Bingo, Bugs and Baseball are here to stay. DEAL WITH IT.

10. Construction on Saskatoon streets in summer is a way of life and a permanent form of entertainment. Kind of like the weather.

11. Construction crews aren't doing their job properly unless they close down all lanes except one during rush hour.

12. Many bizarre sights can be explained simply by uttering the phrase, "Oh, we're in Sutherland".

13. We have a zoo. Well, it's not really a zoo. We just like to call it a zoo.

14. We also have a nude beach that we call "Bareass Beach". No one really knows where this is but everyone has heard of it so assume it is an urban myth and does not really exist (except in the minds of Saskatonians).

15. If someone actually has their turn signal on, it was probably left on at the factory where the car was made.

16. Buying a Saskatoon street map is a waste of money since the termination or continuation of any street is entirely at the discretion of the Works Department of the City. Our Works Department also has a fondness for changing street names at mid-way points (typical instruction that a northbound tourist may receive: "just head outta town on that road that used to be Warman Road")

17. Asking directions will help you get acquainted with the residents. It will not be any help at all for finding the address you seek.

18. Never honk your horn at another car in traffic. The bumper sticker that reads, "Keep honking, I'm reloading." is considered a fair warning.

"I shall call you..."

*Thanks, Daryn

Heinz Deli Mayo Ad

Click Above to watch on tbs very funny ads.com
*Thanks, Daryn

PARACHUTE JUMP

This is neat! Try not to spend all day at this...

Click above to play
*Thanks, Daryn

Gadzooks! Get Google Goggles GMAIL!

Google Mail Goggles aims to end drunken email embarrassment

--System will block — or at least make people reconsider sending — the type of message they will regret the next day--

Google has improved any number of the Web activities in which we engage during the day. But what about those activities that occur late at night? Like firing off that email at 3 AM on Sunday morning after a night out?

If Jon Perlow has his way, Google may be able to save you from that moment of regret, too.

Perlow has used his Google Labs' time to build a new feature called "Mail Goggles." It's a simple addition to your Gmail settings that promises to make sending that soon-to-be-cold-sweat-inducing email a little more difficult:

"When you enable Mail Goggles, it will check that you're really sure you want to send that late night Friday email. And what better way to check than by making you solve a few simple math problems after you click send to verify you're in the right state of mind?"
Set to late-night Friday and Saturday by default, Mail Goggles can be configured to give you pause any day of the week at any time period you prefer. So, if you're more likely to send off regrettable emails on Monday than Friday, you're still covered.

Crooked Trees of Hafford

Excerpt from Post by Paulie at 4:49 PM on September 6, 2004, fat Paulie "Travel" Blog:

Apparently there's more to see in Saskatchewan than endless prairie and the great big sky. Having heard somewhere about a mysterious group of crooked aspen growing on a farm north of Saskatoon, Ben and I decided to spend a Sunday afternoon drive investigating their existence.

It took a bit of doing, and a bit of googling, but I found a map on Virtual Saskatchewan that pointed us in the general direction. We headed north at Radisson, passed Hafford (a town full of road-signs in Ukrainian or something), and turned left onto the next highway. From there, the tiny gif map failed us.

We were headed north on rural road 13 (ooh, spooky) looking for the trees halfway to Alticane. Alticane, as you should be made aware, is a group of 6 houses comprising a village. 3 of the houses seem to be occupied. It was creepy as creepy could be. Having found Alticane (after passing it the first time and seeing a dilapidated old sign on the way back), we calculated where a turn-off should be, and drove south a ways. We finally found a turn-off that looked well traveled, and another 5k down the road we looked to our right and saw a sign that read "Crooked Trees, 2 miles north, 1/2 mile west".

Having finally arrived, we were somewhat surprised at how small the grove was (no more than 50 feet in any direction), but also that all the other trees, as close as 10 meters away, were growing normally.

Nobody knows why these aspen grow this way, but they do know that animals won't go into the mini forest, and that strange lights and sights have been seen in the area.

If you're ever in this part of the world, it's a great way to spend an afternoon. Take a look for yourselves:

(Photos courtesy of Deb J)

Famous People Players

Famous PEOPLE Players was born with the aim to reverse this limiting approach and replace it with hope and achievement. It was difficult at first, but we believed in ourselves; and soon created something incredible. If Famous PEOPLE Players had failed we would have confirmed for the disbelievers that people with disabilities can not succeed. History has unfolded differently. Famous PEOPLE Players has enabled the public, governments and corporations worldwide to look at people with disabilities in a respectful, new light. Segregation has been replaced by integration and normalization.

When you think about it, everyone has some kind of handicap -and that's what Famous PEOPLE Players is all about - overcoming obstacles and reaching for our dreams. *

*Famous People Players (http://www.fpp.org)

Jest Jokes...

Three guys from Jersey drove into the same Manhattan office each day via the Lincoln Tunnel. With gas prices rising, they decided to commute together, each one taking a turn driving in. One of them had to drop out though, because his eyes were bothering him. The optometrist told him he had developed carpool tunnel vision.



A cow and a horse got into an accident while they were coming around a blind corner. Who is to be blamed?

The cow... because she didn't blow her horn!



I traveled almost all over the world

- Wow, you must know geography well.

- Oh yes I spent 2 months there..!




Two gold fish are in a tank one says to the other "Do you know how to drive this thing?



Three lunatics attempting to escape from a mental hospital; the first one passes the guard, makes a sound of a cat, and continues. The second one does exactly the same, meowing like a cat, and gets out, too. The third then passes near the guard and yell, “I’m a cat, too!”



Betty's psychiatrist convinced her that she had 120 different personalities.

Then billed her insurance company for Group therapy!



Things learned from TV:

All crimes are solved in 1 hour.

The Good guy always wins.

When you’re trapped, you always find a way out.

A trip from Los Angeles to China takes 5 seconds.

All women still have makeup on when they wake up in the morning.

When you’re a hero, you will never get burnt in a fire.

The Back Pew

A pastor's wife was expecting a baby, so he stood before the congregation and asked for a raise.

After much discussion, they passed a rule that whenever the preacher's family expanded, so would his paycheck. After 6 children, this started to get expensive and the congregation decided to hold another meeting to discuss the preacher's expanding salary.

A great deal of yelling and inner bickering ensued, as to how much the clergyman's additional children were costing the church, and how much more it could potentially cost.

After listening to them for about an hour, the pastor rose from his chair and spoke, 'Children are a gift from God, and we will take as many gifts as He gives us. Silence fell on the congregation.

In the back pew, a little old lady struggled to stand, and finally said in her frail voice, 'Rain is also a gift from God, but when we get too much of it, we wear rubbers.'

The entire congregation said, 'Amen.'

*Thanks, Daryn

TRUE or FALSE? YOU DECIDE!

There are 2000 Watts in a single horsepower.





Nope. 746—or 745.699872 to be exact.

A One-Horsepower Car

The Kiwi, a flightless bird has had two airlines named for it—both now defunct.





Yup. It is the kiwi. One was launched in 1992, offering flights from Newark Airport, in New Jersey, to resort locations in Florida and the Caribbean; the other, which went into business two years later in Auckland, New Zealand, offered service to Australia.

Matilda was the real first name of Wallis Warfield Simpson, the woman for whom England’s King Edward VIII abdicated the throne in 1936.





Un-uh. It was Bessie. She legally changed her name—dropping Bessie—before their marriage in 1937.

Poikilothermic animals are cold-blooded.







You bet! In fact they’re fish, reptiles, and other animals whose body temperature adapts to variations in the temperature of their environment.

Twighlight - A review

Click above to buy this or other great movie posters and collectables from MovieGoods.com®

Starring: Kristen Stewart ... Bella Swan

Robert Pattinson ... Edward Cullen

Taylor Lautner ... Jacob Black

Billy Burke ... Charlie Swan

Peter Facinelli ... Dr. Carlisle Cullen

Elizabeth Reaser ... Esme Cullen

Nikki Reed ... Rosalie Hale

Ashley Greene ... Alice Cullen

Jackson Rathbone ... Jasper Hale

Kellan Lutz ... Emmett Cullen

Cam Gigandet ... James

Edi Gathegi ... Laurent

Rachelle Lefevre ... Victoria

Anna Kendrick ... Jessica Stanley

Christian Serratos ... Angela Weber

Synopsis: Bella Swan has always been a little bit different. Never one to run with the crowd, Bella never cared about fitting in with the trendy, plastic girls at her Phoenix, Arizona high school. When her mother remarried and Bella chooses to live with her father in the rainy little town of Forks, Washington, she didn't expect much of anything to change. But things do change when she meets the mysterious and dazzlingly beautiful Edward Cullen. For Edward is nothing like any boy she's ever met. He's nothing like anyone she's ever met, period. He's intelligent and witty, and he seems to see straight into her soul. In no time at all, they are swept up in a passionate and decidedly unorthodox romance - unorthodox because Edward really isn't like the other boys. He can run faster than a mountain lion. He can stop a moving car with his bare hands. Oh, and he hasn't aged since 1918. Like all vampires, he's immortal. That's right - vampire. But he doesn't have fangs - that's just in the movies. And he doesn't drink human blood, though Edward and his family are unique among vampires in that lifestyle choice. To Edward, Bella is that thing he has waited 90 years for - a soul mate. But the closer they get, the more Edward must struggle to resist the primal pull of her scent, which could send him into an uncontrollable frenzy. Somehow or other, they will have to manage their unmanageable love. But when unexpected visitors come to town and realize that there is a human among them Edward must fight to save Bella? A modern, visual, and visceral Romeo and Juliet story of the ultimate forbidden love affair - between vampire and mortal. Written by http://www.summit-ent.com/

Isabella Swan moves to gloomy Forks to live with her father. As she starts her junior year in high school she becomes fascinated by Edward Cullen who holds a dark secret which is only known by his family. Edward falls in love with Bella as well but knows the further they progress in their relationship the more he is putting Bella and those close to her at risk. Edward warns Bella that she should leave him but she refuses to listen and to understand why he is saying this. Bella learns his secret. He is a vampire, however she is not afraid of his blood-thirsty needs and the fact he could kill her at any moment. Bella is afraid of losing him, the love of her life. The thrill begins when a new vampire finds it a challenge to hunt Bella down for her irresistible blood. The game is on and James will not stop until she is killed.
Written by courtney

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Review Preview: by EmanuelLevy, EmanuelLevy.com

"Twilight," the erotic vampire novel by Stephenie Meyer adapted into the big screen by director Catherine Hardwicke ("Thirteen"), is generating a huge buzz, even though it's not going to be released until December 12.

Summit Films will benefit for its high-profile production, which stars Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson as Isabella Swan and Edward Cullen, based on a screenplay by Stephenie Meyer and Melissa Rosenberg. It's been a while since we saw a good, erotic vampire film, and "Twilight" may become Hardwicke's most popular feature.

The book, the first in a series of "Twilight" novels, was first published in 2005. The book and movie are made to order for today's youth market, centering on a teenage girl named Isabella "Bella" Swan, who moves from Phoenix, Arizona to Forks, Washington and dangerously falls in love with a vampire named Edward Cullen.

The book's cover is eye-catching and promising. Author Meyer has said that the apple image represents the forbidden fruit from the book of Genesis, symbolizing Bella's and Edward's love, which is forbidden, not unlike the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. This is made obvious by the quote from Genesis 2:17 that opens the book.

"Bella" relocates from the sunny Phoenix to the rainy Forks to live with her father, Charlie, so that her mother Ren?e can travel with her new husband, Phil Dwyer, a minor league baseball player. Upon arrival, she begins to attract attention at her new school.

When Bella sits next to Edward Cullen in biology class on her first day of school, he seems indifferent to say the least; he even tries to change his schedule to avoid her, which leaves her puzzled.

Later on, she asks a family friend, Jacob Black of the Quileute tribe, to telling her the tribal legends, leading to her conclusion that Edward and his family are vampires. Although she was inexplicably attracted to him even when she thought Edward drank human blood, she is much relieved to learn that the Cullens choose to abstain from drinking human blood, instead using animal blood.

Click above to buy this or other great posters from MovieGoods.com®

One thing leads to another, and Edward and Bella fall in love. Their relationship is thrown into chaos, when another vampire coven sweeps into Forks and James, a tracker vampire, decides to get Bella for sport. The Cullens plan to distract the tracker by splitting up Bella and Edward, and Bella is sent to her home in Phoenix. She then gets a phone call from James in which he says that he has her mother, and Bella is forced to give herself up to James at her old dance studio, where he attacks her.

Edward, and the rest of the Cullen family rescue Bella before James can kill her. Once returning to Forks, she goes to the prom with Edward, where she expresses her desire to become a vampire.

"Twilight" has received acclaim and won numerous honors, including: New York Times Editor's Choice; Publishers Weekly Best Book of the Year; Teen People "Hot List" Pick; American Library Association "Top Ten Best Book for Young Adults" and "Top Ten Books for Reluctant Readers.

The book has been translated into 20 languages. In its review, Kirkus noted: "Twilight is far from perfect: Edward's portrayal as monstrous tragic hero is overly Byronic, and Bella's appeal is based on magic rather than character." Publishers Weekly's review described Bella's "infatuation with outsider Edward", their risky relationship, and "Edward's inner struggle" as a metaphor for sexual frustration during adolescence.

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Attack of the Gay Agenda!

A little old - but somehow seems still pertinent...



Click above to watch!

The Difference between Men and Women

1. NAMES
If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara.
If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.

2. EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

3. MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

4. BATHROOMS
A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

5. ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

6. CATS
Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

7. FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

8. SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

9. MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.

10. DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

11. NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

12. OFFSPRING
A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

13. THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

The Electronic Information Age

The Pizza Order. Click here.

For your nightmares...

>

I'm not one to judge the "Borderlands" series. After all, as stated in the introduction by editors Elizabeth and Thomas Monteleone, when the last "Borderlands" collection was published I was getting my kicks by reading "Goosebumps." That being said, I AM able to judge this collection: and I say it's one hell of a read!

The great thing about this collection is its uniqueness and diversity. Gone are the vampire/werewolf/ghost stories; in place are tales, some supernatural, some horror (and a couple that aren't), about the tricks the human mind can play. Some of these tricks stay within the mind itself; some of them manifest in the physical world, in the way we interpret our surroundings. These stories are psychological horror stories; in my opinion, the best kind.

Diversity. There are some big name people in here: Stephen King takes a horrific look at exercise in his novella "Stationary Bike;" in "Father Bob and Bobby," Whitley Strieber tells of a priest who is having a horrific controntation with his reality. You'll never read a bedtime story again after looking through John Farris's "Story Time with the Bluefield Stranger." David J. Schow's "The Thing too Hideous to Describe" is a comedic, yet tragic, look at the life of our world's hidden monsters. Bentley Little's "The Planting" is just as macabre, outrageous, and hideously enjoyable as the author's novels; while Tom Piccirilli's "Around it Still the Sumac Grows" details a man returning to his old high school, and reliving the horrors he once experienced.

There are some new names, however. Lon Prater's "Head Music," a poetic story about a man who becomes kin with a strange sea creature, is the author's first professional sale. Adam Fusco's story is a terrifying glimpse into the future of scientific research, while John Mertz's "Prisoner 392" is a great mixture of "The Count of Monte Cristo" and "The Silence of the Lambs." A man faces the alternative realities he's created for himself in Bill Gauthier's tale; Bev Vincent weaves a tale of irony and tragedy; a man confronts his past and his daughter in John McIlveen's "Infliction"; and a woman has the perfect family--three real beautiful daughters, and her favorite, the imaginary one--in L. Lynn Young's story.

You think listing those names you don't know was a waste of time. I tell you: those are some highlites of this collection, and future stars of the literary world. "From the Borderlands" is a great, unique, thought-provoking, and at times downright terrifying collection of short stories by some of dark fiction's superstars, and others who are bound to become one. This is one you must add to your fiction collection.