I'm not really excited about much right now - and for me - that's off. I don't think I'm depressed - usually when that happens I can't get a dang thing done and I have been working through my list. But it feels like that is what my life is - a series of lists to get done. I don't have fun - I mean really -my life has zero fun in it. I really need to change that, but I'm not sure how. It's not like Wooster is a happening town. And I can honestly say that I do not have one friend in this town - not one. I don't think I have one in all of Wayne county. That's sad, isn't it? SIGH. My closest two friends are over a half an hour away - both married with children and have very busy lives. My other single friends live over an hour away - so going out with them usually means spending the night and that is a hassle with my son and animals. So just one person in Wooster to go do things would be nice. Of course hoping on a plane and going to NYC sounds fabo too.
God I need out of this town.
I feel very boxed in and it's frustrating. This is probably because of that astrological phases that has something to do with Uranus that Maria Shaw said everyone from 1960 - 1973 is going through right now and it is set to peak tomorrow the 4th - with another peek at the start of 2009 and then towards the end of 2009. Grrr..I hate feeling like this...I just hope it doesn't feel as confining after this peek passes tomorrow.
Of course it didn't help me today that I had to go get Indy's ashes. I held it together until one of the workers put their arm around me and said sorry for your loss. DAMN. I sat in my car, in my garage for about 30 min when I got home. I get out and Raisin is sitting there just looking at me - like what in the hell are you doing? My son being the 8 year old he is wants to open up the tin and feel Indy's ashes.
Trick or treat was interesting on Friday. The streets were packed with kids and many houses were handing out candy which was a huge change from last year. My son was dressed as an Army guy and he had a ball. Earlier in the day I went to his Halloween party at school to help out. Had a cute clown (as in one of the kids parents dressed up as a clown) flirting with me. It was cute. And no - I didn't ask him for his phone number or offer him mine.
Oh - don't forget to vote tomorrow if you're in the states. The polls may be very busy - but your vote is still very important.
You know what the one positive thing is about feeling stuck? That I know I'll break through (eventually) and that is such a kick ass feeling to look forward to.
I have a been contemplating some things lately - although I wouldn't have a clue on how to fit everything in:
1) Weekly live radio show - something on BlogTalkRadio until an actual station wants to hire me. With this - I would need a co host. And no - I have no one in mind as of now.
2) Making my own line of gypsy perfumes - call it Gypsy Girl - fun, festive and mysteries scents.
3) Making my own line of gypsy ointments & remedies - based on gram's recipes and some of mine own. call it Allie's Alternatives (sound familiar KS?)
In part of my reading from Joann - she said that I had a healing side (which we all know) that is just dying to get though. She doesn't see me strictly with energy work, but working with herbs, oils and stones/crystals. And if you remember any of my previous visions with my healing center - that was exactly what I was doing. In the mean time I've had 2 separate people comment about me making perfumes and even more mention about the gypsy ointments, creams, etc...
But I also know that I can't spread myself too thin. So after I finish BLACK TRIANGLE, I'm going back to work on the OBE Sex book to get that done and published (I hope) by Valentines day - then we'll see about everything else - all depends where I'm at at the start of 2009.
I know one place I want to be - and that is giving OBE sex workshops - maybe 4 a year: Columbus OH, NYC, LA and either NOLA, Austin TX or Chicago. Robert, my guide, has been hammering at me today because I am not where I'm supposed to be with this -- and Andrew says I'm behind all together but not to worry because something will jolt me into freakish speed mode (whatever the heck that means) and all will be done. Has anyone here put together an in person workshop - maybe a weekend workshop - who can give me some tips on how to do just that?
Before I forget to mention it - Maria Shaw is in Venice/Greece right now so I will not be on the show this Wed. I'm sure we'll have plenty to gab about once she's back next week.
Both my son and I have been hearing Indy around the house tonight. His little whine or the pitter patter of his feet as they crossed the hardwood floors. Plus my Gram P (Dorothy form the séance) is also here - I smelled her White Rain hairspray in my bedroom -- and there was a man's cologne I couldn't place. Seems like this is a spirits stopping point this evening. I hope they let me sleep - I'm so tired.
And I'm that tired from my dreams being overactive. I mean - wow - active. And of course I have not been following my own advice and writing things down. I wake up - I swear - once every 90 min and all I want to do is to roll over and go back to sleep - which I do. A good chunk of the dreams are with Vincent - but I remember glimpses of Bill in other and Will in still other visit. Remembering the dreams is like I have a word on the tip of my tongue and I just can't remember what it is.
Which brings me to knowing I have to do something -but not knowing what it is. Which I do believe adds to the frustration I was talking about earlier. It's like I have to do this something in order to step into the flow of my life - but I don't know what it is that I have to do. I'm hoping that it eventually becomes obvious to me. Maybe it's BT or the OBE book? But I have no idea what - maybe even it's not something I have to do, but a last domino that has to fall in order for me to be in my fated flow. As a psychic you'd think I'd be able to figure things out - but it just doesn't work that way. Kind of like the way in CHARMED the sisters couldn't use their gifts for selfish means - it's like that. I can use my psychic self for others, but for myself when I try the message gets muddled. Which is probably why I like confirmations. Any ways - I can feel that last piece -- just hanging there.
I need to get my shower and go to bed -- I really need to sleep tonight.
Crystal Sunshine!
Allie :)
Labels: Allie, Bill, change, dream visits, dreams, Healing Arts, OBE Sex, Vincent, Will