Killing the Apostrophe

Newsnight had a report last night on whether we should abolish the apostrophe the most confusing punctuation mark in which a linguistics professor from Bangor university Wales said you and i are talking now and theres no apostrophes in what were saying so thats the argument that says maybe you could leave it out to which id say nor does the comma or full stop or other punctuation i dont know why he would say such a thing proper use of the apostrophe really isnt that difficult i dont recall being taught usage past possession in school and like a lot of things regarding school i found it out myself or picked it up from simply reading* i dont really think we should get rid of something just because its difficult and of supposed redundance surely this notion could be applied to anything from handmade craftsmanship to conceiving a baby through sex to language or the act of itself

14/11/08: *My point being perhaps use of the apostrophe should be taught to us properly in school if people can learn the proportional gradient of a bus travelling a successive distance of thirty-two kilometers at an average speed of thirty-five mph with a westward wind variable equal to or greater than pye with standard deviation of four whilst carrying seventy-one pizzas they can surely learn where to put an apostrophe

Why it takes me 2 weeks to 2 months to reply to e-mail: i get a lot (though it waned for a while, and at least a couple of my friends don't bother anymore), in different places (Facebook [though i'm logging into this about once a month, and not exactly using it any longer], MySpace, mail [i don't use it anymore, but people insist], gmail, uni e-mail, and some other sites -- oh and Twitter sometimes). Gmail groups multiple mail into single messages, and it becomes difficult to remember or find what i haven't replied to.

The main problem is the number of networking sites i'm on -- keeping up with them all. A few friends use Facebook exclusively, and i've no other way of contacting them (besides standard e-mail, but i don't like standard e-mail with friends for some reason; i think i prefer seeing the pictures of people i only get to see every year or two, if that (ahem, Katie). I have another friend who will only converse with me via IM, which i don't like, and rarely use. A lot of my friends don't read this blog (i suspect some of them were part of the people who disappeared after i took the piss out of punks, or, rather, fashionistas), and some of them don't know it exists (or how to find it, as one once said), so not everyone will get this. I think perhaps the two-sentence replies i was sending out for several months while my brain was oozing out of my ears probably pissed a few people off, who may or may not have grasped the severity of my situation/condition through the whining on here and Twitter, and thus might simply think i'm a prick. Which is what a lot of people (who don't know me well enough) tend to conclude of my actions, whether i'm being a prick or not, so nothing new there. Some use nothing but e-mail. I forget what my point was... (13/11/08: My point was that i need to be on these sites to contact certain people, who i haven't been in a lot of contact with for several months anyway...)

If i can't remember to attend the CW conference the PhD students were working on for months, for which there were countless posters around the uni for and several e-mails sent, and which was the culmination, in a way, of the year/my degree studies; or the get-together for which i was promised a bottle of vodka, if i remembered to attend; or all the other shit i missed which i now don't remember, i'm probably not going to remember that i need to reply to an e-mail. Shit, i can't even figure out that the house party that was on a few weeks ago was actually on a Saturday, not a Thursday, you douchebag. In the space of three weeks, i've forgotten the keycode to the journalism room, which i've known and used repeatedly for three years. (You couldn't make this shit up:) I went into WH Smith yesterday (which was a good day; i've been sleeping satisfactory for the last week) looking for a diary (to try end all this shit *laughter*), and left wondering why all the diaries were for this year only. "I didn't get one because they were all for 2009 for some reason, which ends in a couple months -- well, a month." "What, Kevin? It's 2009 next year..."

Douchebag.

Chi Cheng in Coma

As i wrote on Twitter yesterday, Deftones bassist Chi Cheng is in a coma after being involved in a car accident. An update from Chino Moreno on the Deftones blog yesterday says he wasn't wearing a seat belt.

Will Haven guitarist Jeff Irwin wrote this in a MySpace bulletin a couple hours ago, and i thought it would be worth putting up/keeping:

I know millions of you know Chi as the bass player of the Deftones, and knowing Chi you probably more than half of you actually got to sit down and talk to him, he is that kind of guy who will meet everyone and engage in a deep conversation, thats Chi, he is an amazing guy and those who have had the pleasure to spend time with him would agree with me, I have been so blessed to have known Chi for just about half my life and I cant think of a guy who gives the biggest smile and biggest hug EVERYTIME you see him, he really is an amazing person, so if he knows all the love and support and thoughts he is getting from people he has touched by his music, his poetry, his presence and mostly his amazing friendship you would see the big smile that we all love. [...]

When I first started hanging out with Chi, Chino had just moved in with him in this really crappy apartment near the big college here in Sacramento. I guess you could say it was like what I invisioned the Motley Crue house would have looked like back in the day without the girls and drugs everywhere, It was the perfect place for a bunch of 20 year olds to hang out and listen to music and drink, You definately didnt want to use the bathroom there, I remember going outside to go to the bathroom because I was scared to go near the toilet. They only had one bedroom there and Chino and Chi shared it, they had two matteresses on the ground on each side of the room and that was there beds, on the other side of the room was the biggest pile of clothes I have ever seen, none of it was ever washed and Chi or Chino would wake up, dig through the pile and put on whatever they could find. MY friend Todd and I would always spend the night there but wake up as early as we could so we could go to our moms houses to take showers from sleeping on that couch. There were holes in the walls, dishes were piled to the sky and food all over the place, when your 20 and have a place you can hang out with your best friends it was the best place in the world to us. One of my favorite memories was one day Chino, Todd, Chi and I were making making Deftones shirts for a upcoming local show. We had learned how to silk screen our own shirts from the Far boys, but were definately not as good as them thats for sure, so I was chosen to put the ink on the shirts ( since I did it with Far a few times and Chinos came out way crooked) and I would hand them to Chi and he would put them in the nasty oven to bake the ink into the shirt, while doing that he was trying to cook food for us as well, so after our 3rd shirt into it he forgot to check the oven where the shirt was, when he opened it the shirt was fully on fire, We all stood there in shock as fire just got bigger and bigger, I remember the mighty Cheng reaching into the oven with his bare hands and pulling out this flame engulfed shirt, He then put it in the sink piled with dishes and was able to extinguish the flames, we were all stoked that we didnt burn down the apartment but then we realised that we couldht even see the smoke was so bad, so we had to run out of the apartment while coffing and trying to breathe. It was so bad that we couldnt even go back for hours. It actually had blackend some of the walls it was so bad, From that day on the Defones quit making shirts and started playing shows to pay someone to do it, but the amazing Chi Cheng saved the day and saved propbably about 200 people lives who lived in that complex, I know Chino, Todd and I would have let that sucker burn to the ground then would have hid at Todds house and watched it on the news.

I love remembering these stories and I have tons of them, and I am happy to share my stories with you, The more I keep him with me in my thoughts the more I feel him getting better, so please do the same.

10/11/08: Latest update from the Deftones blog:

This Sunday saw the first signs of your prayers in action. Chi was able to hear and respond to his father's request to move his lower lip. His father also administered a tendon reflex test, of which both legs responded with movement. Doctors continue to remain optimistic, and the energy at the hospital remains very positive.

The family would also like to send a special thank you out to the three off duty EMTs that stopped shortly after the accident and saved Chi’s life. It was by the Grace of God that these three individuals happened to be traveling on the road with medical gear in tow at the time of the accident. If not for them, the chances of Chi making to the hospital alive would have been poor.

This is great news; and, what a stroke of luck regarding the EMTs. Doctors expect an eventual recovery, and some of the neuro surgeons are Deftones fans (!) and are to be given tickets to see them live as a thank-you gift.

13/11/08: Updates to the blog continue to note his progress. It's looking promising, which is a relief.

Blue Bus

Just as Openned said:

Wednesday 29th October, 7.30 pm

* Jose Solis Aguirre
* Allison Boast
* Kevin Doran
* Juliet Troy

The Lamb, 94 Lamb’s Conduit Street, WC1

£5/£3 conc.

I haven't chosen my set yet.

30/10/08: I had a mini adventure, and didn't arrive until 8.45 p.m. Word of warning: Google Maps seems to be mirrored or something; they think west is east (2/11/08: Hmm, i assumed the exit to the tube station would be on the bigger road, which it wasn't.) Thanks to those who came along.

'All Legal and Fun'

CNN: 'An 8-year-old boy died after accidentally shooting himself in the head while firing an Uzi submachine gun under adult supervision at a gun fair.'

Sky News: '[His father] said: "This accident was truly a mystery to me. This is a horrible event, a horrible travesty, and I really don't know why it happened."

Children under 16 were admitted free, and both adults and children were offered free .22-caliber pistol and rifle shooting.'

New Glassjaw Album: the Latest

From Rock Sound:

Glassjaw are an interesting band[. J]ust when you think they have got things together and are going to dominate 2009[,] their bass player posts the following on a fan forum:

“[I feel like a kid that's been asked to clean his room, but the room still isn't clean, and every time the kid peeks out of the room, he is immediately asked if it's finished. (And I've already cleaned my section of the room.)]

I wish I had an answer for everyone, but I am pretty much in the dark. I mean, let’s be frank, here. I just play the bass. I have no delusions about my role. I have no control of what happens with the band.

I would love to tell you that the record is done. I would love to tell you when or if we are going to tour again.

The sad truth is, I just don’t know.

I don’t know if anyone knows.”

I would've interpreted this as the instrumental tracks not being laid down yet (despite Wikipedia saying that they have been, because Wikipedia is full of shit), if it weren't for this post from Glassjaw.net (a fan site) today:

Well, Tommy Corrigan (Silent Majority, Blood Red, Capital) revealed some details regarding Glassjaw's long awaited new album on this thread, and I quote:

"it had a latin/spanish music feel to some songs, it had some nice grooves, kinda like a massive attack thing going on in some parts. all it needed was vocals. there were SOME vocals recorded but they sounded to me like "idea" tracks with alot of scatting/ gibberish, basically laid down to get the flow/vocal melodies of the songs. i pretty much liked every track i heard, and they were, like i said HEAVILY groove/feel oriented, perfect to vibe off."

Their Wikipedia page has had a lot of gossip; it's stated at different times that the album will be self-titled, called 'Glassjaw!', and called 'Glassboned!'. Also in a GIAN interview, we've had Justin say, 'as far as I am personally concerned, there will be a release well before the end of the year', and Daryl say, 'The end of this year or early 2009 . . . I hope'. There's speculation of an extended wait due to Daryl's other musical projects (Head Automatica, House of Blow, United Nations, Cardboard City, his DJing, etc), and recent rumours of him being in ill health (he has a life-long terminal disease). According to AbsolutePunk.net (in July), 'the band just needs a lot of time, money for recording, and to figure out who will release the new record'. At one point, Wikipedia stated it would be released digitally, like EP El Mark, which doesn't seem likely, but wouldn't be unexpected from them (music, not industry, money) (26/10/08: I found out that this originated from loose speculation made by Beck in an interview; it isn't what he said exactly). (I guess they've always been good at leaving things in the dark and to rumour. . . .) Not to mention the reams of talk in various forums, some of the more notable of which might be

last nite i went to the underoath every time i die concert in worcester mass after the show i got the distinct pleasure of hanging out with keith buckley and chauncey from cardboard city and i asked about the glassjaw album and he told me that they have 6 songs fully recorded and are just working on 4 to 6 more songs[.] he said the album from what daryl told him last week was that its deff gonna be out spring of 08 summer of 08 the latest ..... he also told that everone is gonna flip cuz the whole thing is fucking heavy and non stop screaming ... and that [']you think youre john fucking lennon['] is the sickest song on the album so there u go fuckers

but which doesn't seem to correspond with the description from Corrigan.

Glassjaw meant a lot to me when i got into them at fifteen/sixteen, for many reasons, and they still do. Everyone's been waiting for this album for six years, and considering i thought they had broken up (following everyone's sudden departure, and the band disappearing while H.A. was spearheaded*), i'll happily -- though impatiently -- continue to wait for something i never expected to happen.

24/10/08: This note originating from a G/j interview in a music magazine, saying the album will be released in the coming months, is why i don't believe what the press are saying any more than the unsubstantiated gossip and rumours.

26/10/08: For anyone interested, i rewrote the entire Wiki page on them (after a one-year boycott of Wikipedia). It reads like an article now.

7/11/08: Latest interview with Beck, here, says that vocals have been recorded for '(You Think You're) John Fucking Lennon', 'Jesus Glue', the reworked 'Star Above My Bed', and 'Natural Born Farmer', and also states the album has a split style, with these fully recorded songs sounding much unlike the rest of the album (indeed, they were played live as early as 2003, and possibly written in the previous year). If there is only one other song with vocals -- or more than one, if Corrigan's account is correct (or if he's heard a different copy of the tracks than the interviewer) -- which are freestyle ideas, this might indicate that lyrics have yet to be written or completed for the rest of the tracks.

*A couple years ago, i was sitting in a club or pub that was playing chart hits/pop/other bullshit, and 'Beating Hearts Baby' came on and i thought, 'Holy fuck, he's made the mainstream . . . That's it, Glassjaw's really over'.

I wish i had the strength to visit The Guardian regularly and read their articles on poetry (and constant cock-sucking of mainstream poetry prizes, events, awards, publications, people, etc), for the biggest laughs around; but i'd just post a blog several times a week, ripping the piss and getting fired up, and no-one wants that. (Here's one i unfortunately caught recently: an article by Shirley Dent that laughably and naively talks about 'radical' and political poetry purely in terms of content [you might remember from here that content and beauty -- sounding or looking nice -- are preoccupations of traditionalists, who dominate the mainstream, and from that position spew propaganda]. It's like talking about the glass of windows without mentioning sand or the frame.) On incessant cock-sucking, we have another isn't the establishment wonderful article, hallucinating that

One of the striking features of poetry in the UK at present is variety and this applies to the UK's three big poetry prizes, and how they operate, too. They are so various that poets who win one may not even be shortlisted for the others.

I love that second sentence so much. I would stop here -- you get the point -- but the rest of the article is too funking hilarious to pass by.

At one end is the TS Eliot prize, judged only by poets appointed by the Poetry Book Society

judged only by those appointed in an act of nepotistic cronyism. Wow, what striking variety. And of the Forward prizes:

There are usually professional poets, someone in arts media, and a winner from the previous year among the judges, which has meant in the past that a continuous chain of taste - you could call it the new formalism perhaps - has flickered through the winners of Best Collection.

Astounding and striking variety. A continuous chain of incestuous formal taste and appointment. Amazing.

I know this article sounds like it was written by an unimaginable moron (vis form and content), and it could have been. Though note her bio:

Ruth Padel is a prize-winning poet and travel writer. She has published six collections, most recently The Soho Leopard, has won the National Poetry Competition, been shortlisted for the TS Eliot and Whitbread prizes and was chair of the Poetry Society from 2004-2006.

I do wonder if the writer really believes what she's saying, or if it's a case of incestuous amplification. In keeping with traditional incestuous behaviour, probably.

It's funny because it's self-perpetuating: people read this and remain misinformed and ignorant; and the 'reliable' mainstream sources that Wikipedia loves so much get quoted, so you end up with a facilitator-in-perpetuating-predominant-fallacies-as-fact encyclopedia rife with misinformation like 'UK poetry and its conservatism has such striking variety'.

Dear *Entire Poetry World*,

wtf? Considering i've never heard of this site until now, and haven't sent it any 'new poems' -- and judging by their being six-hundred plus names (including dead people), and confused comments, i doubt any of the other people/poets have, either -- it'll be interesting to see what happens.

29/9/08: What first came to mind was that they were going to do some kind of appropriation of existing works, or that it was a publicity stunt (this being more likely), though i'm staying open to the possibility of severe fucktardery.

30/9/08: I think this site (for godot) has done exactly what it set out to do: confuse, take the piss, and get attention. Though, the confusion, and not knowing which it is trying to do more, makes it intriguing. It almost sounds as though they're going to do what they say, but it seems more likely that they're making a statement on overpublishing (not that this wasn't apparent initially):

If you're up to it, I'd suggest gulping the [4,000-page PDF] whole, for 83 straight hours of transcendent poetic revelry reflecting the whole panoply of human achievement, emotion, wistfulness, and athletic achievement.

The extreme and impossible '83 hours straight' seems a satirical remark on how much poetry is being published, so much so that it's impossible to read all of it. I may be reading too much into it, and i don't want to turn all Silliman-esque (no offense, Ron), but i think the most important word in this sentence is 'athletic'. That achievement in poetry has surpassed merit, worth, becoming a feat of resilience and endurance, and perhaps spectatorship; that he/she who runs the fastest, and most, 'gets ahead' of those who run slow or not at all.

(Well, transversely, Gary Barwin had this to say in the comments:

And everyone should also stay tuned because I'll be publishing a 1/2 page PDF of the work of Vladimir Zykov, Steve McLaughlin, and Gregory Laynor. It will be a valiant contribution to the world of flooring, orange peels, human ectoplasmic dynamics, and parcheesi reinvigoration tectonics.)

It might be a good point, i guess, though if this is what they're saying, it's not as effective/clever as it could be: there are people on the list who have published very little poetry (shit, i've been virtually dormant for more than a year), and many virus-like poets are missing -- some of what's listed aren't even people. Perhaps the 'research' wasn't all that thorough? (I have no idea who these orange-peel-contributors are, and maybe that's their problem?)

4/10/08: Well, looks like they did what they said they were gonna do, sort of. I wouldn't bother reading it; the comments, and everyone's individual reactions to it, are much more interesting (5/10/08: if a little 'I, I, I! me, me, me! mine! Oh god! what about me!') (i'm unfazed/not bothered, and wondering why i'm writing any of this and accomodating attention-seekers). I really don't find it as clever as they probably think it is; and i don't know who they are to be attacking about three-thousand writers, most of whom have probably achieved more than they have; and i don't understand why they're bothered so much: publishing, while having its sneaky backdoors and ladders, has a talent/relevance/whatever heirarchy.

I wish i had as much time on my hands as these people do.

5/10/08: Ron Silliman writes a note, which includes the personal phone number and address of one of the people involved. And Ed Baker notes this -- which doesn't seem entirely serious -- from the comments on the for godot site:

I am so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so very sorry for what I've done. I am a total asshole. That's all that can be concluded from this. Really, I sat down last night and thought about it, and I've just concluded that I'm a terrible sad person starving for attention.

I promise everyone that the entire anthology will be deleted from the site tomorrow. Again, I'm just an asshole, that's the only possible explanation.

Your fifteen minutes have come and gone, and you will, in my eyes, be remembered as a mild pest. Congratulations.

6/10/08: I've seen about a dozen plus blogs discussing this at length; now, Warren Ellis has a note up.

13/10/08: The guy explains the origin of it, making everyone parading about the exceptional genius and hilarity of it sound a little stupid. Daniel Nester, in the comments, points out what i said above: that this would've been more interesting/noteworthy had it actually been at all clever.

20/10/08: For anyone interested, a contextualising overview of this whole thing, here, by Jack Morgan. No specialist terms, and a little background; for those not involved in -- or privy to the (teacup) ins and outs of -- the (online) poetry world.